this should be a trojan ad
one time we got a new kid in fifth grade and he walks right in and sticks his hand under the stapler and staples his hand and just looks at the teacher and goes “I’m going to the nurse” and leaves
That kid is my hero.
THE FIRST TIME I GOT HIGH I GOT REALLY INSPIRED AND I WROTE DOWN A BEAUTIFUL SONG AND I THOUGHT IT WAS SO GREAT AND ORIGINAL AND MOVING BUT THEN A FEW DAYS LATER WHEN I WASN’T HIGH I FOUND IT ON MY FLOOR AND REALIZED I HAD JUST WRITTEN DOWN THE LYRICS TO FIREWORK BY KATY PERRY
dang girl are you my appendix because I don’t understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out
That is quite possibly the weirdest and most carefully thought out pickup line I’ve ever read. I applaud you.